Most teenagers find it hard to navigate the world of love and dating. These problems are universal to all teenagers. Everyone goes through them at some point in life. Teenager find dating very complicated. Below are the common problems experienced and possible solutions.
- Unreciprocated love
It is common to love someone who has no feelings for you. When someone does not show interest in you, does not mean you are unattractive. It is painful, yes but know that not everyone is a match for you. This can be because of fundamental differences that you might not see clearly now. Always remember your match will come, it’s not the end of the world. If you haven’t been kissed before does not mean you are the only one. As a matter of fact there are people in their 20s and 30s who haven’t been kissed before.
- Getting noticed
For someone to notice you, it takes more than make-up or fashionable clothes. First you have to know what you have in common. Chat about the common things you share. Be yourself and smile often. If still it does not work, it means you are not a match for each other. Move on, do not cling to someone who does not share your interests.
- First love
It is normal to have strong feelings for your first love. It comes with confusion, jealousy, pressure to have sex and hormones. Engaging in sex has many consequences hence you need to be very careful. Love coming from the heart and love as a result of hormones are very different. It is not easy to tell the difference. Exercise care and caution.
- Friends’ interference
Teens always care about what their friends think about them and their date. Peer pressure is real and can ruin your relationship if you are not cautious. Some friends want you to date within a certain group. This creates pressure to date someone who is acceptable by your friends. Friends can make negative comments about your partner motivated by the need to protect you. In most cases they are motivated by fear or jealousy. Therefore, make up your own mind.
The fact that you are a teenager will affect your dating. This is because you do not have the maturity level one gets from being an adult. Some of the challenges are figuring things out on what you should do. You basically are learning everything including how to stand up for your partner and yourself. However, the experience helps you grow up into a very assertive and responsible adult.
Do not be too involved with your date that you isolate yourself from your friends or those around you. You need friends too to help your figure out the world. Isolation can result in breakdown especially if you break up. Keep your friends; spend time with them as much as you schedule time for your partner.
Communication prevents misunderstanding and builds trust. Talk to your partner about how you feel to keep the relationship growing. Open up to your partner and speak freely. On the other hand, if your partner doesn’t open up, then there is mistrust or discomfort. Ask questions and be a good listener as it will make them want to let you in on more.
- Commitment challenges
Teenage love is mostly affected by commitment issues. One person wants a long-term relationship while the other wants a short-term. It is important that you ask yourself what you really want before you rush into anything. Let them know what your thoughts are without being drawn in by another’s feelings. If it’s meant to be a long-term it will be one.
- Parental disapproval
Most parents do not approve of teenage relationships for obvious reasons. Some parents feel at that age you are not ready to date or that person might have bad influence on you. Discuss your feelings soberly with our parents. Listen to your parents and accept the rules they lay down on your relationship.
- Changes in life
With high school graduation more challenges come. Some want to join college, military of seek employment. This brings about the long distance relationship at teenage level. Distance relationship is very complicated. The choices will be either a breakup of proceed.
- Breaking up
When you have been in a relationship and no longer feel it is tenable and want an end. It is difficult to breakup without hurting your partner especially if they love you so much. There are no good breakups, they are all painful. This means you have to first accept that your partner will get hurt and probably hate you. It is important that it is done in person. Please do not do it over the phone or message. Do not drag it, make it clean as it is less painful that way.
- Abusive relationship
If your relationship is abusive, please alert your parents. Do not breakup with the person when alone with him/her. Surround yourself with friends and family when you are ready to let go of that relationship.
- Being dumped
First understand that it is normal to be dumped. Take it well and calmly. Take a deep breath and understand that not all relationships work. There are more opportunities and you will meet someone who will love you’re the way you have always dreamt of. Do something like watching a movie; invite your friends over to comfort you. Don’t spend all your time being sad. Do the stuffs you love to do. The right person will find you like it was meant to be for you.
- Dating your friend’s Ex
Should you or should you not? This is a contentious question. The most common answer is no. However, there are exceptions like they did not date long and mutually agreed to leave things. Ask your friends opinion first even though they may lie about their true feelings. Watch for body language and make your choice.
If your partner cheated on you, how do you handle it. Does that mean that they will always cheat? Analyze their behaviors. If they tell you what happened and are truly apologetic you can forgive. If there are lies then that’s a different situation and you cannot trust them – end the relationship.