04 Nov

Men on Strike

From the name you can assume that this post is about some sort of protest going on in some part of the world that may or may not concern you sitting at your beloved places doing your regular stuff. You can draw a direct or indirect connection of you to this post, but it will faithfully somewhere down the line going to impact your life in its xdimensional way. I cannot be specific about how it will affect your life now because even I am finding it difficult to articulate but It is what it is. If you cannot say it with comfort doesn’t mean you don’t say it at all, somebody somewhere has to pick a bone at some point.

This is a book written by an American author Dr. Helen Smith about the life of American boys and Men’s. Instead of building a drum roll moment before revealing the crux of the book I will start with it only. What she says in plain English is “Men are boycotting marriage and fatherhood, boys are not going college”. Why because the government and society does not stand with them when they are in some social trouble. Social norms and government laws are more in favor of the other party, which at this point is women. Data to prove the fact is as

  1. In 90% of the divorce cases in America men losses the custody of his child.
  2. Men must pay alimony after divorce even if the wife is proven cheating.
  3. He must pay for kids even if they are not from him.
  4. If a 14-year-old boy involved in a sexual act with a woman who is 30+ and they conceived a baby the boy becomes responsible for the baby and the finances related to the baby.
  5. If taking the above point vice- versa then the man will be held responsible and sentenced to jail for the act with the minor.

Now the Indian facts

  1. If a young wife files a report against the in-laws that they are demanding for dowry the whole family is jailed. Even if it is a lie in the absence of proof the woman’s statement is considered as the only truth.
  2. The Same situation of divorce in India, Men must give half of whatever in his name and custody goes to the mom.

Well, the book does not mention about the status of men in India, but this is what is going on. As far as it concerned to me I am a bachelor and currently single. “Why I am single?” because I lack in multitasking skills, I am working in an IT company which demands my heart and soul in it with ever-changing customer’s requirement and my ratings. I find it hard to cope-up with the expectations of the dating world right now, but I am trying. Anyways my direct or indirect relation to the book “Men on Strike” is that I felt once in my life that yes, the life of men and women in India is different. It is a little difficult for the men in the aspect that if somehow, they fail to get a job anywhere in their whole life and they do not have a support from their parents they will end up on streets without food. I am referring to the men who had the opportunity to get an education only not those who were already on the streets when they got conscious. Women also in some cases managed their way to streets but their reasons are different and are very less in number or not because of the society at least.

About “Protesting” the word I choose to portray my interpretation of the book means finding themselves in a ditch from school to college and after marriage men are silently dis-owning the Idea of equality in society. Because on the name of equality people are demanding privileges. Now seeing that things are getting away from them on the order of government and the social contractors they are avoiding being at educational institutions, better jobs and relationships/ marriages cause at the end whatever they risk being attached with will be taken away. Now keeping in mind that we are talking about men here. We must not forget that they are the species which find it difficult to express that they are in pain because that is so not manly. From the various encounters in history it has been taught to everybody that men are tough, they are conquerors and they don’t demand, if they want something they just take it or all sort of wilderness which can be associated with men to prove that the world we are seeing today is created by the great warriors. So, no men even in 2017 want to be related to any kind of weakness. It’s like being an untouched casts or community within the same sex. Whatever it may be is, the fact is that men are suffering and even if they want to express, leaving all of the hardcore things behind there is no one to listen. The author started her journey 20 years ago with a man on a wheelchair beaten up by his wife had no jury ready to listen to his plea. Dr. Helen decided to help him then and she is doing the same stuff since then, she travelled around the states to get to know more about these issues and ended up writing this book. She is still spreading awareness regarding the unfair deal society is giving to men in the world where feminism is at the prime.

What is the solution for men?

As per the book “Stop letting women control the dialogue” means that in the current world we are living all the articles and pieces are written on gender-specific issues are written by women. So, the need of empowerment for women every time you open your social media account or youtube is not surprising.

“Quit treating men like trash”

The present-day advertisement shown on TV are all about picturizing men as a lazy member of the family and with no brain. In India the trend of disrespecting the space of men in order to justify freedom to women is common. Example: There was an advertisement for Cadbury chocolate on Rakshabandhan where the girl asks her brother about her Rakshabandhan present and the brother replies by saying “I promise you to protect you”. From the name of the festival itself you can assume what’s Rakshabandhan stands for but nop!! Taking the obvious road does not sell your product, there has to be something unrealistic to attract the customer. So the girl replies her brother by saying “ I do not need anyone to protect me, I can protect myself” and a legendary music in the background and a big fuck off to millions of brothers and sisters in India. We need to stop creativity at some point man, it is too much in India for god sake.

“Gender equality discussions should not be for Women only”

In all the debates on TV or on youtube the trend of presenting gender equality for women’s only is not new. To gain the attention of maximum crowed the words chosen by media to start are always like “we want everybody to have equal rights, equal paychecks and equal opportunities” but as soon as the guests of the debate put their initial comments the discussion becomes women specific. They start sharing problems faced by women’s in day to day life and then after a while to make the debate more loud and interesting, as the media houses thinks the TV anchor drops a low-level comment which triggers the women panelist and the debate becomes a mail bashing event if we take literal sense of what they scream. This must be put to an end, I think this is the right time to discuss about problems faced by young boys and men also. There are number of things which can be discussed to improve the quality of their life. We cannot compare the problems across the genders but also, we cannot assume that there is no problem in other genders.

We have talked about women’s, gays, transgender, confused gender even animals also, now it is time to talk about men. There is no conclusion to this post cause whatever I just said above is a thought only.

Hoping for a better time for the warrior kind and an end to this mute and unseen protest!!!

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